Do You Do Temperaments?

I've been hearing about the temperaments for awhile - you know, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and melancholic - but never really paid any attention to them until recently. I know I had a book on my shelf once about it that I didn't get around to reading and just passed it along after awhile. A number of my family and friends would talk about them and I couldn't get straight which word meant which thing.

But a few weeks ago, the topic kept coming up in the randomest places, enough that I started to have a guess of which temperaments I had. During this random streak, I was at a friend's house and she had a copy of The Temperament God Gave Me sitting out from the library. I picked it up and quickly read an overview of one of the temperaments I thought I was - melancholic. Wow. There was an awful lot of "me" on that page, including: "They are skeptical about what may appear to be simplistic labels and categories - such as the four temperaments." (Ha!) - But really a lot more too, including the need to fight to achieve self-confidence and "Ironically, however, although small details can stump them, melancholics can often handle the truly big crises with grace and aplomb."

I went home and ordered the book right away. I haven't finished it, but have found it quite helpful overall. For those of you who aren't familiar with them, the temperaments refer to the part of your personality which is innate rather than learned. I had a sense that some aspects of my personality that were frustrating to me had pros and cons, but this really helped me sort some of them out and stop battling my own nature unnecessarily and try to work with what I have.

Upon further reading, I discovered that the other temperament I had suspected belonged to me - phelegmatic - was actually the dominant one. The section in the book entitled "Discovering Your Secondary Temperament", which describes temperament combinations, including potential pitfalls, was particularly helpful. This paragraph particularly rings true (and I've been working on doing many of these things, especially in recent years):

This temperament combination can face at times a greater challenge to your confidence than other temperaments (especially the choleric or sanguine). For this reason, when you are facing a major challenge or have been given a multifaceted and demanding project, it will be absolutely critical for you to maintain your level of energy and motivation - not to mention your prayer life - to complete the project. You will want to anticipate the way your moods can get you off track and take concrete steps to maintain accountability in order to remain focused and energized throughout the task. Motivational tapes, exercise, a healthy diet, spiritual guidance, and a strong sacramental life will be critical.

I haven't come close to finishing the book yet, but have found it quite helpful so far. The book is written by a licensed marriage and family therapist.

 

She's Off!

I haven't posted here in an awfully long time. It's been a busy summer (homeschool conference, mission trip, trying to get the house painted, etc. etc.), but mostly we've been focused on getting Ria off to Thomas Aquinas College. She has arrived safely and gets to start moving in and getting oriented today.

She flew out by herself. I would have loved to have driven her out or flown out with her, but it seemed neither necessary, nor reasonable, since we have family right nearby who were able to transport her about, we're completely familiar with the college (John and I are both alums), and we all drove out there in April and had a nice visit.

We all (John and I and the younger five kids) had a great time with all the conspiracies of preparation. I think these projects were quite therapeutic for us! These mostly fell into three categories:

1. Ria had a notebook out at her graduation party last year for people to sign. There was a lot of room left and she came up with the idea a few weeks ago of having all of her friends write notes for her that she could read on the airplane on her way out. Well, the rest of us really ran with this and had a blast getting as many people as possible to sign it (or share a favorite quote, draw a picture, or whatever). At one event at our parish where the notebook wasn't available, Gus and Terri got a bunch of people from this summer's mission trip to write little notes on post it notes, which not only added to the substance of the book, but made a fun and colorful display as well. We also put together a few fun collaborative "features" in the book. The one that worked out the best (and came out to ten pages!) was a conglomeration of "Things We Say", which included things like silly words our family made up for things (like "squeezy cheese" for grated cheddar cheese), funny Freudian slips among family and friends (like "Miller Lite Stadium") and favorite and oft-quoted movie tidbits (like "in the best sense" from Sense and Sensibility).

2. We helped pull off a surprise goodbye party that a number of her friends put together at a friend's house the night before she left. Our job was to get her to the party location without suspecting. Our ruse was that we were all going to meet Daddy for dinner in a town where some dear family friends live. One of the party planners was with us and part of the scheme was that we picked her up for a visit to Old World Wisconsin and that she was going to dinner with us (which was plausible under the circumstances). Pulling it off required some clever and impromptu acting from everyone involved and they played their parts beautifully - including Frank who pulled off an "I have to go to the bathroom" moment (which was true) at just the right time (which was part of the ruse) in order to get a freezer chest with the cake snuck into the back of the van. Such fun!

3. Since Ria was flying out, we shipped most of her stuff to the college. It didn't seem like unreasonable stuff getting packed, but it was amazing how much stuff it turned out to be in the end (just heard from her - she's mostly unpacked now and it really isn't too much stuff, LOL). Just the bedding is so bulky, but she had won a nice comforter in a raffle a few months ago at our parish (that also came with a Target gift card - woohoo!) and we didn't want her to have to deal with buying EVERYTHING once she got out there. We shipped a couple of large boxes (mostly the bedding), plus two small book boxes (media rate is still a great deal!) and the rest were in those wonderful USPS flat rate Priority Mail boxes that cost $15 to send (including the price of the box). The clerks at the post office love to tell you how much they would have cost without the flat rate box - one of ours would have come out at $37!

One of the great things about boxing up her stuff for her (she had a busy last few weeks with, among other things, a Shakespeare play in our backyard) was that we got to sneak all kinds of goodies in for her. Chocolate, cocoa, tea, a small set of Prismacolors, a deck of Five Crowns and Terri's little Woody action figure (if you've seen Toy Story 3, you'll understand the significance and fun of this!) and some other goodies were squirreled away in the nooks and crannies. Again, being in on the surprises was really great for the kids.

_____________________________________________________________

This is, naturally, a difficult transition for us. We are thrilled and excited to death for her and I think I'm basically at peace with potential worries about her safety or how well she'll do and with the distance and length of time she'll be gone. I've also been overwhelmed in the last few weeks with gratitude for who she is and how God has blessed us through her, but I must admit that it's a challenge to accept that things will never be quite the same again and that that's the way it's supposed to be.

Struggles on the Path of Faith

A lovely tidbit from Cardinal Ratzinger's God and the World:

Faith is always a path. As long as we live we are on the way, and on that account faith is always under pressure and under threat. And it is healthy that it can never turn into a convenient ideology. That it does not make me hardened and unable to follow the thoughts of my doubting brother and to sympathize with him. Faith can only mature by suffering anew, at every stage in life, the oppression and the power of unbelief, by admitting its reality and then finally going right through it, so that it again finds the path opening ahead for a while.

Fun 'n' Games meets Reality?

Why is it that it's always the playing cards and money from the game of Life that are most often scattered around the floor of the game closet (and often other places as well)?

I Will Never Quite Understand Why...

after a day of things like this....

[The other kiddos helping Ria with a drafting project. She had to carefully measure and draw out our house for an outside class. There was a lot of great initiative and voluntary cooperation on this project even though they had to re-measure several times because of inconsistencies.]

and this...

[At that very same time, Kate and Frank set up their own tea party, complete with scrambled eggs.]

and other good things like a group Shakespeare reading with several other families and a very healthy mess in the living room from our school work this morning...

I still have a tendency to feel like we're not doing enough.

Paperwork, blech!

Paperwork, especially the variety that involves tediously sending in receipts with just the right EOB and a specially printed form from the website on a regular basis, is the bane of my existence. A paperless society? Sounds awfully tempting.

With our months of extra busy-ness from May through July this year, I really dug myself into a hole. In fact, I was behind and disorganized before I even got to May partly because we've been storing our big filing cabinets on opposite ends of the basement. Big mistake. I had started small file boxes here and there and a smaller cabinet upstairs, but things were a mess. Two weeks ago I dove into doing some reorganizing, because I've realized over time that when my to-do list is really overwhelming, it usually pays not to start there (except for urgent stuff of course!) but to start by organizing and then the other things fall into place.

A few things helped with the organizing. First, we exchanged the new mattress we purchased in the spring (we were having problems with it already and they have a great exchange policy within 90 days) for a smaller one. Then, because I picked up a bunch of decorating and home-organizing books at the library book sale back in April (a little browing really pays off at times) I got the idea that it would be interesting to pull the bookshelf next to our bed out by one corner so that it left some open space behind it - separating a little corner of the room from the rest (perhaps we'll put a reading chair in there some day) and - wow - also making room for the two tall filing cabinets just behind the bookcase (these wouldn't have fit if we had kept the larger sized mattress).

So now, with extremely accessible filing cabinets (which though they're a bit beat-up having been purchased at the annual used furniture auction at John's workplace - it's a good thing they're hidden behind the bookcase!) I was able to get rid of most of those little filing boxes and reorganize lots of paperwork AND get rid of a bunch of out-dated stuff. What a huge relief!

Now I was finally ready to tackle the actual paperwork - especially that ugly medical stuff. Unfortunately, by that point, we actually managed to have both our medical insurance card (which includes a medical savings account) and our regular medical savings account card (this one is also usable for vision and dental and such) suspended. Argh!

This was still a pretty intimidating prospect to tackle but finally, as of last night both cards are back in use (or will be as soon as the fax is received) and the work itself was a lot easier than before. Now I have one file drawer near the computer with all the medical stuff (I have individual files for pre2007 stuff in each category, 2007 in each category and 2008 in each category). It's still a pretty hairy job, but at least a somewhat manageable hairy job at long last.

Seasoned Mommy

I don't know exactly when I crossed over the line to "seasoned mommy", but sometimes it's kind of nice to be there. The other day I went shopping at Target for some odds and ends needed to have everyone prepared for my nephew's upcoming wedding. I went shopping all by myself (a much appreciated luxury made possible with two babysitting aged kids). I made my way to the shoe aisle somewhat unprepared to pick up something for Frank. I vaguely heard a mom in the next aisle over, trying to get her little ones to behave. I whipped out my cell phone (which I don't usually have on me, because I usually forget to charge it, but that's another story) and was soon talking to Terri about finding a pair of Frank's shoes and telling me what size they were (and which pair they were, as I had a sense of how well they fit him).

While I was waiting for her to look, I heard this mom (with a somewhat frustrated, but friendly tone) say: "I am SO jealous of you right now!"). A few minutes later, she showed up at the corner with a smile and a repeat. We struck up a very pleasant conversation. She wanted more kids, but was feeling overwhelmed. I think she left reassured that it does get easier - I usually like to say that it's not mathematically more difficult with each child. The dynamics change, adjustments happen and there are many joys in having a range of kids from little munchkins to mid-teens.

Now, one funny thing about being a seasoned mommy is that when someone else needs reassurance, I'm often able to find the stories and thoughts that may be helpful to them, but I don't always remember them when I'm in a tight spot myself. Just goes to show how much we're meant to encourage each other. :)

Mission Inspired Play

I guess it's no surprise that every since we returned home, the kids have been attempting to make adobe.

So I'm very happy that *I* recently discovered (hat-tip to MacBeth) this great article on the importance of letting kids get dirty. :)

Oops! Broken Glass

Oops! Broken Glass
Originally uploaded by Chez VH

Ria accidentally broke a glass baking dish this morning and immediately turned it into a movable work of art with the beautiful morning sunlight. More photos here.

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered, and an adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered." G.K. Chesterton

Old-Fashioned Cut and Paste

I got a lot done on my article today. :)

Life Has a Way...

of getting in the way of blogging. :)

Some of what we've been up to this week (and weekend)...

I imagine that everyone has a task (or two) that they particularly procrastinate on because they just don't like doing it. For me, it's making doctor and dentist appointments. Last Monday morning, I finally bit the bullet and scheduled all of our dentist, doctor and eye-doctor appointments. April will be busy! Our doctor actually had an entire afternoon open the following day, so I took all six kids in for check-ups, assembly-line fashion. Nice!

Our annual library book sale. The kids and I help with set-up and clean-up and such every year as well as finding some goodies for ourselves. Favorite finds - a Teaching Company audio course for 50 cents (it's on Churchill - not one from my wish list, but could be very interesting!) and a funny little pop-up book on "The Seven Great Explorations" (that should provide some nice history pegs for the little ones). I also picked up some fun home decorating and gardening books. At 50 cents for any hardcover, you just can't go wrong.

Attic Work. It's an amazing thing to discover and renovate a room you didn't know existed - even when it's only four feet tall. John installed a pull-down attic ladder a few weeks ago and almost has the entire floor covered with boards. We were able to move the Christmas things and some paperwork tubs upstairs, thus freeing up the under-stairs shelving in the basement, which allowed me to get rid of a clunky shelf unit that was right in the middle of things and move our overflow kitchen appliances and canned goods under the stairs. I went all-out and put some sticky-linoleum tiles on the shelves (the particle board didn't seem all that great for food and paper goods and such) so it looks FABULOUS. The tiles were left-over from a little flooring project at our old house and weren't enough to cover all three shelves. Fortunately I found a reasonably compatible new box on clearance at Home Depot, and we're good.

Two Teen Discussions This Week. We finished chapter eight of Jesus of Nazareth (the sections on "Bread" and "Shepherd" - FABULOUS reading!) and expect to polish off the book within about a month. Yesterday afternoon we discussed The Ballad of the White Horse - a very lively discussion with lots of fun mini-readings to enjoy the language.

I'm sure there was more, but I just don't remember.

And I think I forgot to mention how much I love my new vacuum. We've never really had a decent vacuum until now. For many years (especially in our apartment days) we got away with a little hand-held dirt-devil. We've had some carpet sweepers and a few very old used Kirbys. Finally, we bit the bullet and checked out Consumer Reports. A very solid and reasonably-priced Eureka upright with a hose attachment came out quite well in their ratings. It was a little over a hundred dollars and I couldn't be happier. Having the right tools makes a huge difference! Funny thing, a few days after this purchase, I happened to mention to my sister-in-law in Oklahoma that we bought a new vacuum. It turns out that they had just gone through the same process within a month or so of us and picked out the exact same vacuum.

Extremely Random Thoughts on Thinking and Communication

Some thoughts swirling around in my head - nothing resembling a "train of thought" here, I think! ;)

Just because someone makes a point about something we agree with doesn't mean it's a good point.

Just because "an argument can be made" doesn't mean the argument is true.

We lose an awful lot of important "battles" by losing sight of what really matters.

It's strange how discussions sometimes unravel because two people who aren't really very far off from being "on the same page" go on rants about things that drive them crazy (not aimed at each other at all) and they each think the other person is mad at them.

It's amazing how often we will fully accept, without question, a rumor as truth simply because it's something negative about someone/something we don't like or we don't approve of. When we do this, not only have we brushed aside charity and lost credibility, but we have become hypocrites.

Children have the best sense of timing...

Like when Frank just asked me to help him take his pants off so he could take a bath with Kate. He leaned his very soggy hand and sleeve against me while I helped him out and only then explained that he had to take a bath because he had accidentally stepped in the toilet.

LOL

Slight update: My husband thinks I should elaborate on how a 4 year old can accidentally step in a toilet. :) You see, he and Kate generally use the toilet in our downstairs bathroom to reach the sink. Unfortunately, he forgot to check if the lid was down!

The Somewhat Soggy End to Our Weekend

Sunday we were beat from our work on the Roman Holiday Party and I was feeling under the weather, so I spent most of the day in bed - either sleeping or reading (I did make it to Mass in the middle of the day). I came downstairs around 4 or 5:00 to get a Motrin for my headache and because I thought I heard an odd sound via the heat vent in our bathroom. The rest of the family was happily settled around a freshly started game of Monopoly in the sunroom, so I decided to take a quick peek in the basement, fully expecting that my over-active-imagination was responsible for what I thought I heard.

Unfortunately what I saw was water shooting out in about six different directions from a large drainage pipe right over the substantially full tubs of clean laundry in the back of the basement. I went upstairs to find the main floor bathroom completely flooded and spilling out into the hallway and the "school closet" (the floor of which I had just - finally - picked up only a few days before). The Monopoly game was abandoned and the water turned off while John tried to find the source of the problem and the kids and I dragged all the wet laundry into large piles and salvaged the little that happened to be dry.

John pulled some trim off the bathroom door and we had people stationed in every imaginable place to communicate during some trial runs, but the source was not discovered and the water continued to leak in the basement after it had run for awhile.

An hour or so into this, John was just about ready to call a plumber. He thought there was a blockage he couldn't reach, but would give it one more try first. After chatting about it, we decided to try to find somewhere else to spend the night so we could get some slightly less expensive plumbing repair work done during a weekday - likely saving us a considerable amount of money (which is already SO tight in December, isn't it? The homeowner's insurance is a dreaded chunk at just the wrong time of year). A moment's thought brought to mind the friends we should call - they're not too far away, they wouldn't be at all stressed by a sudden invasion and they had a large, comfortably carpeted section of their basement that would take care of us nice (she later pointed out that they had several fold-out couches upstairs as well!). I decided to give them a quick heads-up call while John gave the plumbing snake another try.

I was expecting to talk to the mom of the family and make motherly sorts of plans about sleeping arrangements and such. Instead, I got the dad, who almost immediately declared - "I know what that is! There are roots growing over the entrance to the septic tank and blocking things up." Somewhat skeptically I sent my "phone runners" scurrying to find the cordless phone so I could bring it downstairs to John. A few minutes later, John and I were outside with a long gardening tool and a flashlight, cutting roots in the septic tank. It was a super-easy fix and everything has worked fine since.

I can't believe how fortunate it was that we called those particular friends who had the exact same problem a year or two ago. I'm SO grateful it didn't happen in the middle of the Roman Holiday Party AND I'm super-appreciative that it was merely warm soapy water from the shower that sprayed all over the basement!

For Margaret :)

It all started with the obelisk.

You see, after a lot of hemming and hawing, I decided to cancel our Friday night lit discussion because three homeschool events in our house three days in a row seemed a little intimidating, AND I was going to have a difficult time finishing the reading and preparing for the Latin Club party the next day AND I thought we should get to the Vigil Mass for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception as the next day was going to be rather crazy.

Somewhere in the midst of cleaning, I found some slightly used foam board that, it seemed to me, would make a wonderful obelisk for the middle of our sunroom and most appropriate to the party. It was to be, more-or-less, a model of the obelisk in St. Peter's Square which we had learned about at the Papal Exhibit that came to our local museum a few years ago. Read more about the real obelisk here if you like.

Here's is my initial result before running off to do some shopping (and get some more foam board and a can of spray paint) and before coming home and suggesting to John that maybe he'd like to make it with the kids.

He reluctantly accepted the task after I assured him that I could handle the dinner and the cleaning preparations. I was enthusiastic about the idea of them building this together. He dug right in, as any good engineer would do, and made proportionate measurements based on a real photograph we found on flickr.

They had a great time piecing things together, though the younger set went to bed in tears because they wanted to watch Daddy spray-paint the new structure in the basement, but they had passed the deadline for bedtime (which was being rather strongly enforced since we discovered that our parish for some reason didn't have a vigil Mass but only offered an 8:30 Mass the next morning for the Feast Day). I was just getting up from settling Frank down to bed when I opened the door and smelled something. Ugh.

The paint smell was going to be bad - and get worse. I started by cracking a few windows open downstairs, but soon realized it wasn't going to do. So I threw some extra blankets on the kids
and cracked their windows open. Soon I had the kids in the upper bunks relocating to lower bunks (the smell was definitely stronger up there!) and threw the windows wide open. The three little girls were delighted with my suggestion to all snuggle up in Kate's bed ("Little House on the Prairie" style) and share all of their blankets (at this point a considerable pile) together. They were SO warm that they asked to keep the windows open longer than we actually needed to! Naturally they're posing in this shot...

Frank was snug in a double-fleece blanket plus a down comforter. He never even stirred from the cold.

After about an hour, the smell had fully-dissipated and were able to close the windows and turn the heat back on. It was nice that there was no wind as that would have made things too cold too fast!


The real bummer was that, after all that trouble, the one can of spray paint didn't come close to covering the entire obelisk. It was a curious thing to compare to a paint job we once did to the entire exterior of our old house (just before we sold it) which only took five gallons of paint to accomplish the job!


The result, nevertheless, was quite satisfying. It was a fun addition to the party and the kids decided to bring it along to next month's state JCL convention - after giving it a fresh coat of paint of course. :)

And, in this picture, you can hardly see the silver electrical tape with the red imprints on it. This is a picture from the Latin Bingo game at our party the next day.

Gift Stash

IMG_0437
Originally uploaded by Chez VH

No, it's not what you think. :)

We had the church giving tree presents for a local pregnancy help center stashed in our garage (right in the midst of dead plants - which I wasn't trying to get in the picture - and barricaded by various assundry to keep the dog away) for several days before John and I finally got them checked off (the organizers of the giving tree need us to check the list twice) and packed up in his car (he works near the center) this morning - what an appropriate task to "accidentally" fall on St. Nick's Day! It was only slightly hampered by the 3 degree weather and the pen freezing on me.

I'm absolutely amazed that John was able to fit all of it in his little car.

Oh, and by the way, various people from Church donated (and wrapped) car seats, portable play pens, disposable diapers, snowsuits, etc. for those in need. Signing up the center and delivering the gifts is pretty much the only thing we do for the needy unborn each year (well, nearly every year - last year we missed the sign-up deadline) but it's become a lovely and meaningful part of our Advent.

By the way, for those who are curious, the entire top shelf of the shelving in the background is filled with camping equipment that we received last year for Christmas from John's parents which we haven't managed to use yet (except for the freezer chests, which we've had for years). All of our road trips this year (which comprised most of John's vacation days) brought us to the homes of friends or family and thus saved us the car-space of packing all that equipment. Whaddya do?

Advent Is Upon Us...

...as can be evidenced by our wreath (thank goodness we went to the Marian Shrine for Mass on Sunday where advent candles were available for purchase - all the other stores seem to limit their candle color schemes to "earth tones"), the portions of our Fontanini Nativity set that are scattered around the house (Mary and Joseph are having quite a discombobulated journey to Bethlehem), the potted rose bush that is now playing the part, quite nicely, of a Jesse Tree.

There are a bunch of presents for the pregnancy help center (from our parish's giving tree) awaiting sorting and delivery.

The library tree is up but needs a few additional ornaments.

St. Nicholas Day is tomorrow.

We have two discussions and a Latin Club Roman Holiday Party at our house later this week.

Blogging may be light. :)

And we're actually having a really good week so far - *LOVE* the snow - the crazy storm over the weekend that brought several inches of snow and then a bunch of freezing rain have created a winter wonderland that have had the kids outside almost more than inside during daylight hours. Hope the snowsuits hold up under all the sliding!

With All the Bad Press about Illegal Immigrants...

*everyone* ought to see this story. Wow.

It's only fair.

Bad Blogger

Not only have I not been blogging lately, but there are a whole slew of books I've read recently that I haven't managed to review or even blog about yet. I think a significant part of the reason is that I have reviewer burnout. Not the same thing as blogging burnout, but somewhat related. It can be pretty frustrating at times.

Anyway here are the books I've read or re-read in the last few months that I haven't covered yet. I'm hoping this placeholder will get me around to reviewing some of them some time soon:

_
The Harry Potter Series - (I just finished a re-read a week or so before the big fuss about J.K. Rowlings' various remarks in her visit to the U.S. I think I should post about this at some point.)

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh (another re-read)

Waking Rose by Regina Doman (Also a re-read, sort of, as I did a read-through for Regina a number of years ago. Ria also finished this and she loved it.)

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (just finished this one this morning)

I think there are a few others that I've posted about briefly on Studeo and finished reading, but not yet officially reviewed for love2learn. I hope to have a number of these pieces fall in place around the time that the new love2learn site goes up - which should be by the end of the year.

The Greatest Books We Haven't Read

Kelly at Big A Little A asks a very interesting question:

The Inferno is my "gravest literary omission." I unjustly think I know all about it, so it has never actually made it on to my to read pile.What about you? What is your greatest reading sin?

I think it's interesting to see what people consider worth reading but have a twinge of guilt about not getting to yet.

For me, the obvious answer is St. Therese's Story of a Soul. I'm thinking that admitting it will help me get around to it sooner. :)

One of my other big omissions I corrected only in the last year or two. Before that I hadn't read anything by Flannery O'Connor.

Last night I finished one I've always wanted to read - Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

How about you?