Bad Spelling and Grammar Never Pay

I'm sorry, but I get such a kick out of the bad spelling and grammar that generally accompanies phishing schemes (e-mail cons that try to get you to reveal personal information such as credit cards so the cons can use them for their own purposes). Here's a fine example that arrived in my inbox today from an Amazon impersonator:

This process is mandatory, and if not completed within the nearest time your account or credit card may be subject for temporary suspension.

We encourage you to log in and perform the steps necessary to restore your account access as soon as possible. Allowing your account access to remain limited for an extended period of time may result in further limitations on the use of your account and possible account closure.

For more information about how to protect your account please visit Amazon Security Center. We apologize for any incovenience this may cause, and we apriciate your assistance in helping us to maintain the integrity of the entire Amazon system.

So Bad, It's Almost Funny

I think this might be the worst reporting on an issue relating to the Catholic faith that I've ever seen.

Hmmm. Consider the following:

• Scare quotes around the words Body of Christ.
  
• No evidence of death threats (and claims are made by a questionably-motivated source).
  
• A lady who thought this might be a hate crime is labeled as "unforgiving".
  
• Catholics apparently believe that the Eucharist symbolizes the Body of Christ.
  

Oh, yeah, and how exactly did this guy "receive eternal damnation"?

Skype Tag

This happened last night. Only edited for length and to protect the kids' blogonyms...

[6:06:29 PM] johnvanhecke says: you there?

[6:08:33 PM] johnvanhecke says: I am in the airport in TPE.

[6:09:06 PM] johnvanhecke says: They just announced boarding for thelifght to Osaka. Maybe I will catch you there. I think it will be about 3 or 4 hours from now.

[6:09:15 PM] johnvanhecke says: I love you !!!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------

[9:25:58 PM] alivanmom says: Hi! I'm back finally. We got home about 15 minutes ago and I got your voice message.

[9:26:05 PM] alivanmom says: Hope to catch you soon.

[9:26:22 PM] alivanmom says: Why don't you ping me when you're in Japan. I'll come back and check on things in a little bit (the kids aren't all settled down yet).

[9:27:42 PM] alivanmom says: I love you!

---------------------------------

[9:39:56 PM] johnvanhecke says: Hello

[9:39:59 PM] johnvanhecke says: In Osaka

[9:40:23 PM] johnvanhecke says: I am thinking you must be getting Frank to sleep based on the Skype logo.

[9:40:30 PM] johnvanhecke says: and the time :)

------------------------------


[9:49:49 PM] alivanmom says: Hi! I think I actually caught you! :)

[9:50:01 PM] alivanmom says: Frank's not asleep.


[9:50:09 PM] alivanmom says: I'm giving him 10 minutes to try to see if he'll get to sleep.


[9:50:26 PM] alivanmom says: If he's asleep I'll tell the girls a story, otherwise I'm supposed to let him come to sleep in our room.

[9:50:31 PM] alivanmom says: I"m tired.

[9:51:11 PM] alivanmom says: Are you still there?

[10:01:47 PM] alivanmom says: Sorry I missed you. I love you!

-------------------------------

A funnier thing about Skyping across the continents happened a few days ago. My audio currently isn't working, so when John voice-Skyped me, he got to listen in on me and the kids and we got to read his responses. It was particularly funny when the kids started telling him knock-knock jokes (and watching their reactions was priceless!).

Studeo is censored by the Chinese government

Though not all blogger sites are. Read more here.

I love Consumer Reports

We were doing washing machine analyses on the Consumer Reports website when I came across this hilariously true and honest (yet fairly polite) review of a washing machine that I just had to share...

The washer electronically signals the matching dryer to indicate which wash cycle was used and the dryer automatically chooses a corresponding setting -- a unique but not especially helpful feature.

I'm almost obsessively opposed to appliances with unnecessary features that cost more money to begin with and have more things to break. (I inherited this "prejudice" from my dad.) The surprisingly new and incredibly expensive range and dishwasher that came with our house (they were both a year or two old when we bought the house just three years ago and cost around $1000 each) have firmly entrenched this concept into my psyche with their multitudinous break-downs and replaced parts. We try to find the very plainest possible model of very solid machine/series and this has served us quite well.

I should probably note that Ria will be particularly excited about the new washing machine (it was a Consumer Reports "best buy" and incredibly inexpensive - and on clearance at Home Depot) we picked up this morning as she runs most of the laundry in the house (though she gets to listen to Chesterton audio books during this tedious chore). Our current system requires the washing machine to be manually filled with hot water from a hose in the sink as the hot water valve in the machine had rusted "on" and had to be shut off at the source (to prevent additional basement floodings). Happy day!

Solutions for Cold Weather Problems

If that pesky weather tool bar you decided to install on Firefox keeps bothering you with pop-up "URGENT WEATHER ALERTS" three or four times each HOUR (which rudely interrupts the flow of your typing or mindless web-surfing) to remind you that it's very, very cold outside and that the very,very cold weather can be very, very dangerous...

AND...

you can't figure out how to uninstall said pesky weather toolbar...

simply reset your toolbar for a zipcode in sunny Southern California climes and bask in the glow of little sun icons with prognostications of 77 degree weather beaming at you from the top of your screen.

Blogs and Humility

I think keeping blogs offers all kinds of never-before-considered occasions for humility. For example, when you notice that someone arrived at your blog because they mis-typed something into Google which you also mis-typed in the very same way. As a matter of fact, the only reason why your post ranked so high on the list was because of its "unique" spelling. :)

Case in point.

Always good for a laugh at least. :)

Here are a few of our other "highest-ranking" search engine terms:
Kiddie Quotes, National Geography Bee Prep (because the correct term is actually "the National Geographic Bee"), and an assortment of topics in which someone should have written "studio" instead.

What do you get when you cross a paper towel with a potato chip?

Seen today at the grocery store - Pringles Prints. I kid you not - movie and Guinness World Record trivia questions printed right on your potato chips. Ewwww!

There's even a Narnia version. Um. That's just a little weird. Don't ya think?

Polling for Zombies

Here are two questions I had on a recent Zogby online poll. I often get stuck with the ridiculous option of "not sure" because they don't provide any reasonable options...

The networks use sex and violence in their daily programming. Are you offended or are you not offended by the use of sex and violence in TV programming?

Offended
Not offended
Not sure

Nothing about whether the violence is gratuitous or graphic or how loaded a particular movie is with it, whether it's aimed at children, whether it is "glamorized" or used to show the consequences of sin, etc. Give me a break!!!

Do you agree or disagree that it is time for a woman president?

Agree
Disagree
Not sure

What about an option for those who would have never hesitated to vote for a woman if they thought she was the best candidate???


As my husband likes to say, "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?"

One of those "Duh!" Moments

I had one of those "duh" moments just now - I jumped to a conclusion but rather quickly had a change in my point of view (yes we've been thinking and talking about The Phantom Tollbooth lately).

I have a weather alert set up on my computer since I'm in an area that can occasionally experience severe weather. All day today, it's been popping up with an "Urgent" warning about freezing temperatures. "How ridiculous!" I thought. "It's around 50 degrees right now - where's the desperate urgency?!"

Then I finally clicked on the alert and read what it had to say, ending with this...

"A FREEZE WATCH IS ISSUED WHEN SUB-FREEZING TEMPERATURES ARE POSSIBLE...WHICH COULD KILL CROPS AND OTHER SENSITIVE VEGETATION DURING THE GROWING SEASON."

Duh!

Extreme Chocolate

We've always known that Frank is particularly fond of chocolate. The last 24 hours have played this out in a rather funny way. Yesterday afternoon he was beyond-the-beyond in the tired department. But all that was on his sleep-deprived mind was chocolate. He was trying to force Kate out of my bedroom rather loudly and with much crying. Kate finally conceded and I heard him lock the door. I quickly unlocked it and stuck my foot in the door to prevent him from locking it again. Why would Frank suddenly want to lock everyone out of the bedroom? This was a little unusual.

A lightbulb went on in my head. I plucked the package of chocolates off the top of the dresser and returned to the hallway. Frank stormed out of the room screaming for the chocolates. He's an excellent climber and must have figured that if he locked the door he'd have enough time to get to that chocolate. (He was asleep within half an hour).

He didn't go to sleep until late (after that big nap), but still woke up in the middle of the night, crying and begging for ten or fifteen minutes for chocolate, (he's hit that "pleeeeeeeeease!!!" stage - even when he's half-asleep) finally giving up and going back to sleep.

A Tale of Sunscreen and Two-Year-Olds

Even if you're always very careful about locking the car doors because you're afraid the kids will close themselves in there, you might allow your four year old to take the keys to open up the car when you're preparing to go somewhere and your very boyish two-year-old just might sneak in and discover that squirt bottle of baby sunscreen sitting in a little holder in the console and carefully squirt it on every button, knob, handle, lever, mirror and lock that he can find. Every single one. And a few seats too. And some windows. Just maybe.