A Few Great Quotes (and pictures of pretty notebooks) for Your Day

I've been collecting quotes in a lovely commonplace book (from Paperblanks, pictured above on the left) for a number of years now (and collecting quotes in places all over for many years before that). I enjoy both collecting them and reading over them occasionally. The first book contains a variety of quotes, including a lot of spiritual ones.

Recently I decided to start a separate commonplace book for quotes having to do with education, people, culture, etc. (it's a pretty wide field). That's the one pictured above on the right and in the open book picture below.

I really love these beautiful books and find that the beauty itself motivates me to write in them and read through them more often.

So I've been piecing these quotes together from all over, especially in preparation for my trip to Denver this weekend (and for use with some of my talks at the Rocky Mountain Catholic Home Educator's Conference there). Thought I'd share a few of the quotes here...

Dear friends, may no adversity paralyze you. Be afraid neither of the world, nor of the future, nor of your weakness. The Lord has allowed you to live in this moment of history so that, by your faith, his name will continue to resound throughout the world.

- Pope Benedict XVI, Madrid, August 2011

The sacramental imagination gets the world into proper focus... G.K. Chesterton insisted that Catholicism was about thick steaks, cigars, pubs, and laughter. Catholicism is more than that, of course. but it's also that and to miss that is to miss something crucial in the Catholic world. The Catholic world isn't nervous about is legitimate pleasures. In fact, it's a world in which those pleasures can be fully enjoyed because they're understood for what they really are - anticipations of the joy that awaits us in the kingdom of God. And that, I suggest, is a lot more appealing than granola-and-Corona-Lite gnosticism.

- George Weigel

The most influential of all educational factors is the conversation in a child's home. - William Temple

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

Education should no longer be mostly imparting knowledge, but must take a new path, seeking the release of human potentials. - Maria Montessori

For the sole true end of education is simply this: to teach men how to learn for themselves; and whatever instruction fails to do this is effort spent in vain. - Dorothy Sayers, The Lost Tools of Learning

In the absence of any other proof, my thumb alone would convince me of God's existence. - Sir Isaac Newton

Children trying out new things are like plants putting out little green shoots. We must be careful not to cut them off. - John Holt

In studying nature we have not to inquire how God the creator may, as He freely wills use His creatures to work miracles and thereby show forth His power: we have rather to inquire what Nature with its immanent causes can naturally bring to pass. - St. Albert the Great

With loving regard, the divine Artist passes on to the human artist a spark of His own surpassing wisdom, calling him to share in His creative power. - Pope John Paul II, Letter to Artists

It is important for us to live Christianity and to think as Christians in such a way that it incorporates what is good and right about modernity - and at the same time separates and distinguishes itself from what is becoming a counter-religion. - Pope Benedict XVI, Light of the World

Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him, and to  let him know that you trust him. - Booker T. Washington

Education is a life. That life is sustained on ideas... We must sustain a child's inner life with ideas as we sustain his body with food.  Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children

The virtue of truth gives another his just due. Truthfulness keeps to the just mean between what ought to be expressed and what ought to be kept secret: it entails honesty and discretion. – Catechism of the Catholic Church #2469

Respect all reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them. - Maria Montessori

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. - Emily Dickinson

Memphis Conference - Sanity notes (complete!)

Sanity, Simplicity and Exploding the Myth of the Supermom

As an experienced homeschool mom, the question I hear most from people is, "How do you do it all?" The answer, quite simply, is "I don't!" I have taken as my own motto this quote from St. Francis of Assisi:

Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

There's a certain simplicity in this idea that keeps me from being completely overwhelmed with the demands of family life and home education.

Insecurities stemming from the plague of perfectionism run rampant in modern society and homeschool parents tend to be hit particularly hard. They are trying to juggle so many things and life is a struggle, so when they hear something positive about another homeschool family, they can easily spin it into an idealistic image of perfection that is impossible to attain. The reality is that everyone struggles. Experienced homeschool families learn to accept that they can't "do it all'. They know they can't control everything and try to place their trust in God. They pray for patience and serenity and develop priorites, strategies and enough balance to bring a sense of peace.

Necessary - Love:

The Two Greatest Commandments - Love God, Love Your Neighbor (Matthew 22)

Regarding 'Love Your Neighbor':

We are called to be manifestations of God's love to others (c.f. Deus Caritas Est), to be Christ for others... we need to bring Christ's love and joy to the world beginning with our own families.

Whatever you do to the least of my brothers you do unto me...

...includes your spouse and your children!!!

Love comes first and if in doubt, love!

Necessary - Faith (plus note about prioritizing Sundays for God and family)

Precepts of the Church

Necessary - Education

Your State's Homeschool Laws

Possible - Important Distinctions

Absolute truth (e.g. I need to educate my child.) vs. Prudential Decisions (e.g. Should I use a homeschool program?)

Note: Many experts don't make this distinctions. Don't surrender your thinking to them as their favorite method (or whatever) may or may not be useful for your family. Embrace what works for your family

Study on how listening to experts tends to inhibit decision-making.

G.K. Chesterton offers a helpful and humorous perspective on this important distinction:

A man's minor actions and arrangements ought to be free, flexible, creative; the things that should be unchangeable are his principles, his ideals. But with us, the reverse is true; our views change constantly, but our lunch does not change. Now, I should like men to have strong and rooted conceptions, but as for their lunch, let them have it sometimes in the garden, sometimes in bed, sometimes on the roof, sometimes in the top of a tree. Let them argue from the same first principles, but let them do it in a bed, or a boat or a balloon.

Cardinal Ratzinger also explains that the content of catechesis should be fixed and the method of presentation flexible - we are mediators, the method is the bridge.

One aspect of homeschooling that many seasoned mothers will caution you about is getting carried away in purchasing curriculum for your children.

I thought this quote from Gretchen Rubin, writing in Real Simple magazine, made a useful distinction about how we choose things...

There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers... make a decision once their criteria are met. Maximizers want to make the best possible decisino. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can't make a decision until they've examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they're often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

Beware of perfectionism, scrupulosity - rejoice in the good!

Video game example - don't get so caught up in making plans that you never 'just do it'!

Don't blink!

Enjoy the process. Don't try to do everything! Being available for your children and loving them are the most important things.

Age quod agis!

Age Quod Agis is an old Latin proverb that means "Do What You Are Doing." I think this concept is both helpful and encouraging to homeschool moms who are trying to move fifteen different ways at once - often at the expense of being effective at accomplishing what truly needs to be done.

Fr. Thomas Dubay explained this concept quite beautifully:

Little children live intensely in the present moment, neither in the past nor in the future. As the French writer La Bruyre once put it, 'Children have neither past nor future, but they have something we seldom have - they rejoice in the present.

This is the child-like trait which the New Testament would have us imitate. Age quod agis - literally, 'do what you are doing'... The future does not yet exist and the past is gone forever. What we have is the present moment. By it we are fashioning our eternity.

Diversity of the Saints

One of the most beautiful and encouraging sources of reading for me as a mother has been the lives of the saints. Not only do the saints inspire me and show me how God works through people in every age of history, but they help me understand my children better. In the saints we find great diversity of background, personality and accomplishments. My child might drive me crazy at tines, but St. Augustine and St. Maximilian Kolbe drove their mothers crazy too! A good reason to hope! Some saints were great scholars like St. Dominic de Guzman and St. Ignatius of Loyola. Others lived simply to love God and others, and through God accomplished great things, such as St. Therese of Lisieux and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. When we love our children and teach them what is good - even at great sacrifice to ourselves (and parenting does require sacrifice!) we help prepare them to follow the great and unique plans that God has in mind for them.

Confidence Issues

Story of the lady at Target (That's one I happened to blog about a few years ago, so you can click through and read the story) - I've often found I'm more confident and prepared to help with others in need than to assess my own situation. This is partly because we need help from a mroe objective view and partly because God wants us to support each other!

Also, many times I've found that when I'm brave enough to share a problem *I'm* having with a friend, it turns out to be something that *they* really needed to talk about.

(Click here for an extra quote that I didn't have at the time of the talk, but that is quite relevant.)

Concerning Messes

Kids are supposed to make messes - Life with kids is messy. Give ourselves (and others) a break. Some day your house will be cleaner - and you'll probably miss the chaos, if not the mess. I often apologize to guests (especially if they're younger homeschool moms) because our house "isn't usually this clean!"

Aim and prioritize - cleanliness will never be the highest thing! Do what works for you and your family.

Purge and organize when overwhelmed (i.e. don't just fight fires).

Keep it simple. Focus on decor that can hang on the wall (thus out of the way) rather than cluttering surfaces. Keep hair cuts simple. Donate clothes (especially kids' clothes) that are hard to take care of.

A story about keeping it simple (a story from our own family):

One night, a few years ago, my youngest daughter, age 6 at the time, was playing with a wooden tower toy that had a ramp for little cars to roll down. Though she couldn't find the cars, she did find a handful of dice and discovered that they slid down the ramp in a very satisfying way.

Trouble soon came in the form of her four year old brother, who wanted to play too. They were soon squabbling quite loudly over who had how many dice and who took whose dice from whom. The chaos was rather aggravating and I promptly took away all of the dice except for one for each of them and braced myself for the protests that were sure to follow.

But they never came. The change was like a light switch - all they really needed was just one each and the room was suddenly filled with giggles and squeals of delight as they took turns with the toy.

Not all of our family squabbles end so easily, but it was a great illustration for me of the beauty and delight of simplicity.

Distinguish between ideal and necessary. Each season of life provides different challenges and opportunities. Work on avoiding comparisonities and keeping up with the Joneses. A good example of an ideal is going to daily Mass. This happens to work well for me at this stage of my life, but certainly has not always been a possibility.

Take advantage of technology. Basic appliances, cordless phones and answering machines are your friends. Online or automatic bill-paying programs can also be really nice!

Aim to do the little things with love. I fell in love with the Morning Offering during the chaotic littles stage. It's SO comforting to know that frazzly messes and chaotic tiredness aren't pointless!

A little inspiring reading can go a long way. Stories of people overcoming difficulties (especially bringing good out of a bad situation) are comforting. Also, some of the family magazines out there that are meant for busy working moms have a lot of applicable stuff for us too! (After all, we're working moms too!)

Don't try to be efficient with your little people (or any people for that matter).

You [should] think effectiveness with people and efficiency with things... I see many parents, particularly mothers with small children, often frustrated in their desire to accomplish a lot because all they seem to do is meet the needs of little children all day. Remember, frustration is a function of our expectations, and our expectations are often a reflection of the social mirror rather than our own values and priorities. (Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

Don't do everything *for* your kids - give *them* a chance!

It can drive parents crazy when their young children constantly beg to do things for themselves. "Me do! Me do!" is their constant cry. While giving in to temper tantrums over such an issue is not recommended, allowing children to do these things and more for themselves is. Giving children a reasonable amount of responsbility builds confidence, competency and their sense of self-worth. In the long run, at least, it makes a parent's job easier as well.

Maria Montessori explains this concept beautifully:

To teach a child to feed himself, to wash and dress himself, is a much more tedious and difficult work, calling for infinitely greater patience than feeding, washing and dressing the child one's self. The former is the work of an educator, the latter is the easy and inferior work of a servant. Not only is it easier for the mother, but it is very dangerous for the child, since it closes the way and puts obstacles in the path of the life which is developing.

Further information:

This concept of not taking initiative away from the child is related to the Church's "Principle of Subsidiarity". You can read more about that in the Catechism of the Catholic Church #1883.

Academic Sanity

Some tips for assessing/reassessing:

1. Distinguish between different subjects - What does your family learn well naturally (and can thus be left as is - i.e. don't fix what's not broken).

2. How to study a particular subject in general - For example, Math requires more order and regularity than literature.

3. Learn to recognize unnecessary conventions from the school system that don't need to be applied at home.

4. Thinking about homeschool programs: These are helpful tools for some (for example, some moms tend to over-plan and a program can help keep things more reasonable) and an unnecessary stress for others. Each family is different!

5. It's not all up to you. Some parents reject the involvement of other adults in their children's lives because they believe it's *their* job - but our Catholic faith teaches that community is important - and our children do need good mentors!

Playtime is essential:

A recent American Academy of Pediatrics study tells us that children's development and important family time are being compromised by today's hectic lifestyle. Modern society tells us that we need to pure more and more formal lessons and activities into our children's lives in order for them to succeed. Give yourself permission to slow down as a family and keep that desire for efficiency in check when it comes to your children.

More Isn't Always Better:

If a child finishes an entire school book on schedule, but remembers little or none of what is studied, he has accomplished very little. It's much better to study less and learn it well.

Here are a few possibilities for adjusting your studies accordingly:

Measure a day's or a week's progress according to effort and time expended upon a subject rather than the number of pages completed.

Don't latch onto formal work at the expense of the informal learning that fills in the cracks and makes formal learning easier and more delightful. For example, a child is read to and talked to and given an initial and very important grasp on the language (largely through communication with his family) before he learns formal reading skills.

For a subject like Science or History, split a textbook up into two or three years and study the material in greater depth. Supplement with excellent books and videos, visits to a museum and hands-on projects and experiments.

Many areas of learning can be handled more informally in grade school and more formally in high school - like Science and History.

Stealth Academics for Busy Moms

Prerequisites that seem to help these work in our family:

A. Limited TV and computer because they can be all-encompassing distractions.

B. Parental accessibility - e.g. floor time

C. Strong family interest in learning - kids are often interested when their parents are.

Story about the state Latin Convention and how our more informal style of learning tends to match up well against the schools we compete against.

Informal learning is both efficient and delightful (and can add up to a lot more than we tend to realize) - especially when initiated by the child. (c.f. Nurtureshock)

Stealth Academics list:

1. Board and Card Games (like Set) - tell story about the English from the Roots Up card game.

2. Audio Books (including those from librivox.com and audible.com)

3. Audio Academics (especially in the car) - like IEW Spelling, Power Glide Languages and Lyrical Life Science

4. DVD Courses and Educational Movies

5. Building or Construction Toys (like K'nex, Legos, Architecto) - good source: Timberdoodle

6. Art Supplies (simplicity tip about one nice set of Prismacolors)

7. Season pass for the zoo, living history museum, art museum, etc.

8. Service work!

9. Get enough sleep (c.f. NurtureShock and huge impact on academic scores)

10. Local community involvement and activities - including your parish and public library.

11. Pen pals

12. Pocket Atlases (and map puzzles) - bring on car rides and plane trips

13. Group classes and activities

14. Picture books

Story about picture books from our own family:

When the Vatican Collection went on display a few years ago, we visited the exhibit with a wonderful docent who knew all kinds of stories and symbolism behind the artifacts and really made the exhibit come alive. She was obviously well-read and when she started explaining a piece, she generally captured the attention of all those in the room. I was amazed and delighted to discover that when people asked her where to learn more about these things, she suggested that they turn to children's books.

What a wonderful idea! There are loads of beautiful picture books, simple biographies and even coloring books available today that adults and children can learn from together. If you're just starting out homeschooling your very young children, this is a great place to start. Children have a great capacity to enjoy such stories which gently introduce them to the realms of history, science, religion and much more.

For those with a broad age range, match some of these fun books up with your older children's school studies and let everyone get involved!

Doing the Impossible

When you get to the point where you've developed some balance, perspective and a certain comfort with who you are - imperfections and all - you might suddenly find that you're accomplishing amazing things that you never thought possible.

At long last...

I've finished putting my outline for the Live It! talk from Memphis here on the blog. You can read it here.

Next up is my Sanity, Simplicity and Exploding the Myth of the Supermom (which I haven't started typing in yet).

I lost my notes for a little while. Sorry for the delay!

Articles and Talks - Master List

Talk Notes:

Christian Fearlessness: Putting on an Attitude of Hope (Memphis, 2010)

Choosing Materials that Will Work for Your Family (Milwaukee, 2009)

Live It! Restoring the Culture through Faith, Family Life and Education (Memphis, 2010)

Sanity, Simplicity, and Exploding the Myth of the Supermom (Memphis, 2010)

Notes from a number of older talks are incorporated into the Educational Theory section of Love2learn.

I'm still working on finishing the "Live It!" Notes and I have yet to add the "Sanity" notes from Memphis.

Articles:

"Apologetics: Sacraments, Service and Study" - A Catholic Homeschool Companion, Sophia Institute Press (February 2006)

"Homeschooling: Educating Across the Generations"(interview) - Il Sussidiario (December 2009)

"Hope: An Act of the Will" - The Tail End Blog (November 2008)

Memphis Conference - Live It! Notes (finally complete!)

Note: This the outline of my talk, but it's quite incomplete relative to the talk since it's missing a lot of little pieces and stories that fill it in and bring it to life.

Live It! Restoring the Culture through Faith, Education and Family Life

I took our catechism study group to a talk by Archbishop Chaput about Faith in the Public Square. After his talk, he was asked about what we should do about “Catholic” pro-abortion politicians. His answer – It’s my job to try to change them, it’s yours to replace them. And he pointed out a big group of teens in the audience.

Here’s a related quote from his book, Living the Catholic Faith: Discovering the Basics:

'Go, make disciples of all nations was the last command Jesus gave to us before returning to His Father. It's a big one. How can simple people like us convert the world? That brings us back to Mary, and to the apostles at Pentecost. They changed the world by letting God change them and work through them. We don't need to be afraid. We need to be confident in the promise made by Christ Himself: 'I am with you always, to the close of the age.'


Don't be afraid of the world. The Holy Spirit is on your side. Charles Spurgeon once said, 'The way you defend the Bible is the same way you defend a lion. You just let it loose."

This relates well to something Pope John Paul II said in his Letter to Families:

“...experience shows what an important role is played by a family living in accordance with the moral norm, so that the individual born and raised in it will be able to set out without hesitation on the road of the good, which is always written in his heart.”

This is great reminder of what a powerful impact that "Who we are" has upon the education of our children - especially in the long term. The Holy Father further elaborated:

“Through Christ all education, within the family and outside of it, becomes part of God's own saving pedagogy, which is addressed to individuals and families and culminates in the paschal mystery of the Lord's death and resurrection. The "heart" of our redemption is the starting point of every process of Christian education, which is likewise always an education to a full humanity.”

Homeschooling is not a sure bet as far as keeping your children Catholic. Confusion about "protectionism" - evil does not come solely from the outside world, since we have a fallen nature. It is essential to develop an understanding of what is good and help our children learn to love it (through parental love, prayer and the sacraments, study and good example).

Manifesting God’s Love to Your Family and to Others

Charity Fails ...

Example of air bag video from fail blog (You can watch the video here, where I had to just describe it in the talk).


St. Paul wrote about charity fails. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."
 Humility problems: There is a grave danger inherent in trying to a witness to the truth of Christianity for others and that is, without God’s grace and great humility, sometimes the externals become more important than the deeper realities and we succumb to pride. Like the Pharisees.

Don’t live your life as a reaction to the culture, but to Christ’s love for us. Live the best life you can and that *will* be an example. Beware of extremes – especially well-intentioned ones. (There but for the grace of God go I.)

Respect for children (CCC 2221-2228) We talk about respect in different ways which sometimes confuses people. There's a certain kind of respect we owe to our parents and grandparents or those in authority. There's a related, but different, kind of respect we owe people under our authority, especially our children, since they are made in God’s image. And our love should reflect God’s love which is unconditional.

Parental Responsibility (CCC 2221-2230)

Problems of materialism – spoil your kids with love, not things, and never let things be a substitute for affection.   Rummage sale problem. Candy bar example. :)

Supporting Each Other

We need each other! (more about this in the 3rd talk)

Ora et Labora (work AND pray) – Remember that you can pray for the courage to do what is right even when it’s hard or scary – God always answers this kind of prayer!

We are all imperfect and need each other’s help!

Model good problem-solving strategies to your children

Witnessing in Every Day Life 

“Joy is the Gigantic Secret of the Christian.” (Chesterton)

Among other things, a good model for our children in dealing with the world e.g. Grocery Store Conversations (respond with love even when you get sick of hearing "Wow, you have your hands full!")

Be Not Afraid

On the spot (fishbowlishness) for large homeschool families can be intimidating sometimes, but the world needs that challenge from us, and in the right context, those challenges are good for our children and can actually strenghten their faith. Two slightly silly examples: The Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Waltons, The Homeschool Parade Story.

Avoid Certain Aspects of Culture
Secular ugliness
Problems with Protestant thinking (also see CCC 819)

Learning Cultural Discernment
“It is the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain an idea without accepting it.” (essential for reading a newspaper!)

Develop your lens of faith and your skeptometer
       This requires knowledge and application. Includes a well-formed conscience, appreciation and conviction for what is good and true. Skeptometer to recognize and filter out what is wrong.

Enjoy age appropriate modern culture together; chat and make distinctions.

Note not only the bad, but also rejoice in the good!
        Essential for bridge-building – recognizing the good in others. It is an essential component in trying to help someone to the truth to recognize what we have in common.

Beware of Political off-balancing
We can’t surrender our Catholic thinking to the political party we favor.
If our children should be familiar with the songs, stories, heroes, customs and traditions of our country, they should also be taught the culture, stories and traditions of our Catholic faith.

Do What’s Right Even When It’s Tough

Avoid Perfectionism (and related anxieties)

Don't be afraid of not knowing something (and swallow that pride!). Many great things can follow the phrase, "I don't know, let's find out!"

...know what you say you know: know what you know and what you do not know; get one thing well before you go on to a second; try to ascertain what your words mean; when you read a sentence, picture it before your mind as a whole, take in the truth or information contained in it, express it in your own words, and, if it be important, commit it to faithful memory... This is the way to make progress; this is the way to arrive at results; not to swallow knowledge, but to masticate and digest it. (Cardinal Newman)

Be a good cultivator

Cultivation is essential because what your children love is even more important than what they know. Ah, and all of these things should be used within reason of course!

Note: A huge part of this is simply being there for our children. Nurtureshock notes on socialization and how babies learn language. (I'll try to find these references and add the quotes later - feel free to remind me if I forget!)

1. Foster initiative, even though it can be messy or disruptive.

2. Model good attitudes and virtues.

3. Allow small children to help you when they ask - even if they aren't *very* helpful. (cf. Maria Montessori)

4. Provide children with opportunities for success - especially if they are struggling with something.

5. Beware of unreasonable expectations.

6. Avoid condescending materials and attitudes.

7. Remember that patience is a key virtue in this regard and, finally, don't forget to ask for God's grace!

Thinking like a Catholic

(need to add link to handout on resources for thinking like a Catholic)

The whole concern of doctrine and its teaching must be directed to the love that never ends. Whether something is proposed for belief, for hope or for action, the love of our Lord must always be made accessible, so that anyone can see that all the works of perfect Christian virtue spring from love and have no other objective than to arrive at love. (The Roman Catechism, a.k.a. the Catechism of the Council of Trent, as quoted in CCC #25)

Summed up in the Great Laws of Love, the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes and the Four Marks of the Church

The Catechism of the Catholic Church is an excellent and essential source.

Goes beyond just overtly religious matters (like liturgy) and affects things like how we treat other people and how we make decisions in life. (add note with Winged Watchman quote)

A few key examples:

Above all - Charity

Respect for the Dignity of the Person (see CCC 1929-1933) and consequences for disabled, unborn, children - especially sympathy because we are also fallen (cf. Matthew 18, the parable of the debtors)

Unity of Truth/Faith AND Reason

Scripture AND Tradition (CCC 103, 113) - e.g. Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Liturgy of the Hours (both of which are rich in scripture and tradition)

The Virtue Lies in the Mean

Knowledge Does not Equal Virtue (because we have a fallen nature)

Principle of Subsidiarity (CCC #1883):

The teaching of the Church has elaborated the principle of subsidiarity, according to which 'a community of a higher order should not interfere in the internal life of a community of a lower order, depriving the latter of its functions, but rather should support it in case of need and help to co-ordinate its activity with the activities of the rest of society, always with a view to the common good.

Helping Our Children Love the Beautiful

Many people don't recognize that children have a great capacity for beauty and mystery, partly because they aren't concerned, like bigger people are, about completely understanding things.

Children exposed to what is aesthetically and morally excellent are helped to develop appreciation, prudence and the skills of discernment. Here it is important to recognize the fundamental value of parents' example and the benefits of introducing young people to children's classics in literature, to the fine arts and to uplifting music. While popular literature will always have its place in culture, the temptation to sensationalize should not be passively accepted in places of learning. Beauty, a kind of mirror of the divine, inspires and vivifies young hearts and minds, while ugliness and coarseness have a depressing impact on attitudes and behaviour. (Pope Benedict XVI)

The beautiful and the good, ultimately the beautiful and God, coincide. Through the appearance of the beautiful we are wounded in our innermost being, and that wound grips us and takes us beyond ourselves; it stirs longing into flight and moves us toward the truly Beautiful. (Cardinal Ratzinger as quoted by Fr. Schall in the Order of Things)

e.g. Introduce beautiful music, literature, etc. even when people think they're "too young"

Preserving Catholic Culture:

• Help your children have positive experiences with priests and religious - e.g. adopting a seminarian
• Liturgical Seasons and Catholic Customs - Can be celebrated in different ways - traditions, projects at home, daily liturgy via Mass or Liturgy of the Hours, celebratory foods, etc.
• Don't try to do it all - start simple and focus on a few things - e.g. straw in manger for Advent, bean jar in Lent
• Literature, Poetry, Art and Music - wonderful example: Saving Name of God the Son (Bethlehem Books)

Aim at appreciating the best of old AND new.

C.S. Lewis in an essay on the value of reading old books:

Every age has its own outlook. It is specially good at seeing certain truths and specially liable to make certain mistakes. We all, therefore, need the books that will correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period. And that means the old books.

He also wrote in the same essay...

Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction.

Family Conversations are Incredibly Formative
St. Edmund Campion and the Value of Learning
Cultivating a Love of Learning in Ourselves

Turning to God

Devotions: Sacraments, Adoration, Family Prayer (e.g. Rosary, Liturgy of the Hours, Daily Mass, Litany of the Saints (handout)

Passing Along the Faith

Propose, don't presuppose (further reading can be found at CCC 2224 and Handing on the Faith in an Age of Unbelief by Cardinal Ratzinger).

Parents should do a lot of inviting their children to do good things, require the essentials but try to make (some) other things open to the joy that comes from freely choosing the good.

Cardinal Ratzinger said:

Do not presuppose the faith, but propose it... Faith is not maintained automatically. It is not 'finished business' that we can simply take for granted. The life of faith has to be constantly renewed... And since faith is an act that comprehends all the dimensions of our existence, it also requires constantly renewed reflection and witness. (Gospel, Catechesis, Catechism)

Simple Prayers to Teach Your Children:

Glory Be

"Lord, tell me what you want me to do with my life and I will do it."

Lord, may all the world burn with love for you.

I love you Jesus, my Lord and my God.

Totus tuus.

Memphis Conference - Hope notes

My daughter and I had a very nice weekend in Memphis where I spoke at the Blessed Sacrament Homeschool Conference. Wow, the people of Memphis (well, aside, perhaps, from a few of the airport workers we encountered on our way back) are incredibly gracious and friendly and I enjoyed meeting many lovely families (and a whole truckload of babies!) at the conference. It was really wonderful, by the way, to have a 24 hour adoration chapel just across the hall from the conference (and a lot of people back home praying for me)!!!

I promised that I would start putting my talk notes up on the blog as soon as possible, so here are the notes from the Hope talk. Some of this is verbatim and some isn't. I read some parts and winged others.

Christian Fearlessness: Putting in an Attitude of Hope

"We know that all things work for good for those who love God." (Romans 8:28)

The world is a scary place sometimes - evil is frequently present to us - especially in this information age - and this time of year, especially February and March (especially in Wisconsin!) can be particularly tough. This is definitely something I struggle with personally and I've found that putting together and studying (and praying about!) these things has been extremely helpful to me.

We will never have a perfect life in this world, as much as we are tempted to wish for perfect safety and happiness on this earth - especially for our children. Instead, we have to trust. And we DO trust. We value the goodness of this world enough to bring children - perhaps many children - into a world fraught with risk and danger.

Cardinal Ratzinger in Salt of the Earth:

“To have Christian hope means to know about evil and yet to go to meet the future with confidence. The core of faith rests upon accepting being loved by God, and therefore to believe is to say Yes, not only to him, but to creation, to creatures, above all, to men, to try to see the image of God in each person and thereby to become a lover. That’s not easy, but the basic Yes, the conviction that God has created men, that he stands behind them, that they aren’t simply negative, gives love a reference point that enables it to ground hope on the basis of faith.” (Cardinal Ratzinger, Salt of the Earth)

God gave us the perfect model of this "Yesness" in our Lady.

Also, in this context First Corinthians 13 – “Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful…” offers a profound sense of how God loves us and consequently how he wants us to love each other.

Q. Does anyone know the context of Jesus’ exhortation to be “perfect as your heavenly father is perfect”?

A. “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:43-48)

Hope offers perspective when we’re overwhelmed, discouraged or finding it hard to trust and leads us to love more – which is the most important thing according to the Greatest Commandment:

You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart, your whole mind and all your strength. AND love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:28-34, John 4:5-42)

I believe love is actually our best weapon against relativism because in loving we provide a powerful witness to the truth (e.g. Mother Teresa) and that witness authenticates our belief system.

"Only when the future is certain as a positive reality does it become possible to live the present as well. So now we can say: Christianity was not only 'good news' - the communication of a hitherto unknown content. In our language we would say: the Christian message was not only 'informative' but 'performative'. That means: the Gospel is not merely a communication of things that can be known - it is one that makes things happen and is life-changing. The dark door of time, of the future, has been thrown open. The one who has hope lives differently; the one who hopes has been granted the gift of a new life." (Pope Benedict, Encyclical on Hope)

I love that idea of Christianity not only giving us knowledge but forcing change upon us. Afterall, knowledge is not the same thing as virtue!

Hope is something you have to CHOOSE!

Fr. Ronald Knox (priest, writer and friend of G.K. Chesterton):

"Hope is something that is demanded of us; it is not, then, a mere reasoned calculation of our chances. Nor is it merely the bubbling up of a sanguine temperament; if it is demanded of us, it lies not in the temperament but in the will... Hoping for what? For deliverance from persecution, for immunity from plague, pestilence and famine...? No, for the grace of persevering in his Christian profession, and for the consequent achievement of a happy immortality. Strictly speaking, then, the highest exercise of hope, supernaturally speaking, is to hope for perseverance and for Heaven when it looks, when it feels, as if you were going to lose both one and the other." (God and the Atom, p. 115)

G.K. Chesterton and Fr. Ronald Knox are both great authors on the topic of hope, as was a lady who converted because of their influence. Her name is Hilda Van Stockum and her children’s stories, including Winged Watchman (my personal favorite) and the Mitchells’ Series (from Bethlehem Books) are great read-alouds because they offer so much for children AND adults and are great manifestations of hope!

History

Reading history is helpful because it allows other struggles and successes to inspire our own and give some perspective on our own times.

Example: Novatianist heresy (Novatian was the 2nd anti-pope, Rome, 251) - one of the earliest heresies which involved those who thought people who had chickened out on martyrdom shouldn't be allowed back in the Church even if they repented.

We know that life experience tends to develop wisdom. History allows us to tap into the "life experience" of hymanity even as we would listen to and learn from the wisdom of a grandparent or older friend.

Studying history provides perspective in understanding the world today. Those who don't study history might conclude that things used to be great, but that it's all a hopeless mess now. This overly-pessimistic attitude often leads to a sense of complacency rather than a willingness to cooperate in our own small way with God's plan. The truth is that mankind has battled with (and at times lost to) great evil since the Garden of Eden.

History helps us to avoid the mistakes of others, to recognize errors in thiniking that are not-at-all-new and to have real hope that God raises up ordinary men and women in every generation to be saints and heroes who work to counteract evil and help bring God's love to the world.

A few examples of what Hope does for us...

Littleness

Our Lord says a very striking thing in the Gospel of Matthew. When He is asked who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, He responds, "Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)

How does this relate to hope? The virtue of hope calls for us to persevere in our tasks with faithfulness, but to entrust the rest to God. He is the one repsonsible for the "big picture" and expects us to cooperate in our own small way, with love and humility.

Littleness also implies a certain patience with ourselves, as St. Francis de Sales said, "Those who aspire to the pure love of God have not so much need of patience with others as with themselves."

Joy

Joy is contagious.

G.K. Chesterton: "Joy is the gigantic secret of the Christian!"

Cardinal Ratzinger's words on this are so profound and beautiful, I didn't try to add much else. This is from his book Salt of the Earth...

Something I constantly notice is that unembarrassed joy has become rarer. Joy today is increasingly saddled with moral and ideological burdens, so to speak. When someone rejoices, he is afraid of offending against solidarity with the many people who suffer. I don't have any right to rejoice, people think, in a world where there is so much misery, so much injustice.

I can understand that. There is a moral attitude at work here. But this attitude is nonetheless wrong. The loss of joy does not make the world better - and, conversely, refusing joy for the sake of suffering does not help those who suffer. The contrary is true. The world needs people who discover the good, who rejoice in it and thereby derive the impetus and courage to do good. Joy, then, does not break with solidarity. When it is the right kind of joy, when it is not egotistic, when it comes from the perception of the good, then it wants to communicate itself, and it gets passed on. In this connection, it always strikes me that in the poor neighborhoods of, say, South America, one sees many more laughing happy people than among us. Obviously, despite all their misery, they still have the perception of the good to which they cling and in which they can find encouragement and strength.

In this sense we have a new need for that primordial trust which ultimately only faith can give. That the world is basically good, that God is there and is good. That it is good to live and to be a human being. This results, then, in the courage to rejoice, which in turn becomes commitment to making sure that other people, too, can rejoice and receive good news.

Willingness to Suffer

The Gospel is certainly demanding. We know that Christ never permitted His disciples and those who listened to Him to entertain any illusions about this. On the contrary, he spared no effort in preparing them for every type of internal and external difficulty, always aware of the fact that they might well decide to abandon Him. Therefore, if He says, "Be not afraid!" He certainly does not say it in order to nullify in some way that which He has required. Rather, by these words He confirms the entire truth of the Gospel and all the demands it contains. At the same time, however, He reveals that His demands never exceed man's abilities. If man accepts these demands with an attitude of faith, he will also find in the grace that God never fails to give him, the necessary strength to meet those demands." (Pope John Paul II, Crossing the Threshold of Hope)

But in truly great trials, where I must make a definitive decision to place the truth before my own welfare, career, and possessions, I need the certitude of that true, great hope of which we have spoken here. For this too we need witnesses - martyrs - who have given themselves totally, so as to show us the way - day after day. We need them if we are to prefer goodness to comfort, even in the little choices we face each day - knowing that this is how we live life to the full. Let us say it once again: the capacity to suffer for the sake of truth is the measure of humanity. Yet this capacity to suffer depends on the type and extent of the hope that we bear within us and build upon. The saints were able to make the great journey of human existence in the way that Christ had done before them, because they were brimming with great hope." (Pope Benedict XVI, Encyclical on Hope)

Cultivating Hope in Ourselves and in Our Families...

In his encyclical Deus Caritas Est (God is Love) the Holy Father says,

Faith, hope and charity go together. Hope is practiced through the virtue of patience, which continues to do good even in the face of apparent failure, and through the virtue of humility, which accepts God's mystery and trusts him even at times of darkness.

Pray

The Catechism of the Catholic Church specifically recommends the Our Father: "Hope is expressed and nourished in prayer, especially in the Our Father, the summary of everything that hope leads us to desire." (1819)

I find the Liturgy of the Hours - especially the Night Prayer - to be very consoling and hopeful.

Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously!

It's quite liberating to realize that God doesn't want us to take ourselves too seriously! (Read Chesterton - he's great in this area)

...we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we alone are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord." (Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est)

Give

Clear out your clutter by giving your excess belongings to those in need. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with life, this always brings some immediate relief. Dig deep! It's incredibly freeing to reduce the number of things you own. Some inspiration in this regard:

Matthew 6:28-34:

And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we eat" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.

Luke 6:38:

...give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back.

Help others

When we focus too much on ourselves and get carried away with worrying about what other people think of us, perhaps the easiest solution is to turn our gaze outward - to look at those around us and to see their needs.

Stay engaged

I struggle with this one at times. Life is filled with sorrows AND joys. If we try to hide from it, we will miss out on both. Get away from the computer or out of the house when you find yourself falling into escapism. Busy families need unhurried time at the park or the zoo.

We can try to limit suffering, to fight againt it, but we cannot eliminate it. It is when we attempt to avoid suffering by withdrawing from anything that might involve hurt, when we try to spare ourselves the effort and pain of pursuing truth, love, and goodness, that we drift into a life of emptiness, in which there may be almost no pain, but the dark sensation of meaninglessness and abandonment is all the greater. It is not by sidestepping or fleeing from suffering that we are healed, but rather by our capacity for accepting it, maturing through it, and finding meaning through union with Christ, who suffered with infinite love. (Pope Benedict, Encyclical on Hope)

Turn off the news

The news industry is a profitable business built on finding things (mostly bad news) that will keep us watching and reading (and this can be very addictive for some of us!). While we do need to keep informed to a certain extent so that we are able to recognize and fight evil where we are able (and pray where we are not able), we need to shut off or limit the information flow if it has become a source of despair and distraction in our lives.

Music

This can be very soothing - for kids and adults! Bach is my go-to guy, but there are many inspiring, uplifting and soothing choices available.

Rejoice in the Good!

Make a list of things you are grateful for. Oftentimes when our lives are easy and comfortable, we take things for granted, take ourselves too seriously, and start to get overwhelmed by the little things. Deliberate gratitude (accompanied by the cultivation of an atmosphere of appreciation in our homes) can be a powerful antidote!

Fr. Ronald Knox said:

If ever you have felt, in the contemplation of a sunset or any perfect work of nature or art... in the thrill of good news or in the passion of first love, that it was really worthwhile being alive - then that moment was a revelation to you, if you had the heart to understand, of what you owe the Almighty for having created you.

Age Quod Agis

Story about being at the library... one thing at a time.

Age quod agis. (Do what you are doing.) is a helpful reminder to live in the present and concentrate on the task at hand. Embrace the wonder and joy of your children - enter into their "little life." Take the time to share their beautiful interests and delights. Read fairy tales! Take walks. Talk and pray together. Expect some chaos.

Read

Be inspired by great witnesses to hope. Take the time to reflect upon and study the virtue of hope yourself (and related concepts like littleness and trust) through Church teaching on hope (like Pope Benedict's Encyclical on Hope), saint stories and uplifting history, literature and movies.

G.K. Chesterton on the importance of Fairy Tales in particular: "The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides him is a St. George to kill the dragon."

Chesterton, in his book, Heretics, specifically recommends The Blue Fairy Book by Andrew Lang. Our family have a number of Lang's Fairy books and have really enjoyed them.)

Pass it On!

Saint Peter shares with us the need to persevere in hope and confidence: "Have no fear... but in your hearts reference Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you" (1 Pet. 3:14-15). The Catechism of the Catholic Church (quoting Vatican II) asserts: "One is entitled to think that the future of humanity is in the hands of those who are capable of providing the generations to come with reasons for life and optimism." (1917)

We offer this hope to our children, first through the simple gifts of love, patience, and even joy. Perhaps they may not seem like much, but when these are missing, the consequences can be dire indeed. Cardinal Ratzinger, in Seek that Which is Above, tells a story about a generation of young people who grew up during wartime and did not understand hope. He reminds us of this important truth: "The person who has never experienced goodness and kindness simply does not know what such things are." (pgs. 9-10)

One final quote I ended up tacking onto the end (with thanks to my daughter who had this quote with her in her Commonplace Book - I haven't read the Screwtape Letters since High School):

(And for those who aren't familiar with the book, it's a book of "letters" from the devil to one of his underlings.)

He [God] is prepared to do a little over-riding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs - to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in this state of dryness are the ones that please Him best.

We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them for the table, and the mroe their will is interfered with the better. He cannot 'tempt' them to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do our Enemy's will, looks round on a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys. (C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters)

Homeschool Talks I'm Working On...

(Subject to change)

For the Memphis Conference...

The conference organizers were particularly looking for talks of a spiritual and practical nature that encourage families who are burnt out and perhaps help in keeping things in perspective and developing good attitudes about life, love and learning. 

1. Christian Fearlessness: Putting on an Attitude of Hope

Somewhat based on my article on hope from mater et magistra magazine but a little more personal.

2. Sanity-Savers (haven't found the right name for this one yet)

Somewhat based on this blog post, but with a more general age-range emphasis plus a related academic component.

3. An Environment of Love and Learning (not sure if this is the final title)

I'll be drawing from some of my work here on Studeo, the Educational Theory section at Love2learn and my Love2learn Moments, but on the whole it's a new project.

For the Kentucky Conference...

1. Choosing Worthwhile Materials

This is basically the one I did a webinar on for Homeschool Connections.

2. An Environment of Love and Learning

This one will be a repeat from the Memphis Conference.