Kiddie Quotes

One of the reasons I started this blog was to keep my notes and odd tidbits of thoughts in better order than having them scattered - a few pages here and there - in notebooks all over the house and in Rubbermaid tubs in the basement.

Here's another notebook, and probably my favorite:

Funny Quotes from Our Kids

Ria - When my oldest daughter was three, she came with my husband and I to talk to the manager of an apartment complex we were looking into. The man had some sort of speech impediment, but my daughter obviously thought he had an accent (she was just learning about people moving here from different countries and learning English later in life). She was very quiet during the interview, but on the way to the car she said, "Mommy, I tried to hear what he was saying, but I couldn't hear him because he was speaking in a different country."

Ria - When my children were young Abe Lincoln by Ingri and Edgar Parin D'Aulaire was one of their favorite books. My three year old daughter was making sand-castles in the back one day. While they looked like a collection of sand-hills to the untrained eye, she was kind enough to elaborate on their construction. "This sandcastle is like Abraham Lincoln's house," she explained, "because it has bear-skin rugs."

Ria - My children have always learned little bits about their faith whispered into their ear during Mass. I point out the Consecration and draw their attention to what the priest is doing, etc. One day I took my 2 1/2 year old daughter out of church to change her diaper. We came back in quietly and stayed in back during the Consecration. When she saw the priest hold up the host during the Elevation, she said - loud enough for everyone in the congregation to hear - "Look Mommy, there's Jesus!"

Ria - My husband and I were talking about a business trip to Japan while my four year old daughter listened intently. She got very upset at the idea of his going so far away. I tried to console her by saying that at least he wasn't going to the moon. She responded that at least she could see the moon.

Gus - One of my kids thought St. Michael was a "Harkangel" as in "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."

Gus - One day I asked my two year old son where he got his belly button from - he said he got it for Christmas.

Ria and Gus - While I was rearranging the "schoolroom" bookshelf, I explained to my four year old daughter that I had to make room for cards. My two year old son asked me a number of times afterwards to play with the "room-fer cards".

Ria and Gus - When my two oldest were little, they liked to play a game they called "bride and broom".

Gus - While changing my two year old son's diaper, I asked him if he was poopy. He said, "Me is poopy." I said, "No. You say I am poopy." He looked at me funny and said, "Mommy's not poopy!"

My husband and his mom were talking one day about how particular our four year old daughter was about words and that you "couldn't put one over on her." My mother-in-law concluded, "Yeah, she's a sharp cookie." Ria, overhearing, replied, "No I'm not!"

Gus - Amused by the above reaction, we asked our two year old son if he liked sharp cookies. He said, "No. I like fresh cookies."

Ria - John and I were talking to our five year old daughter about how much a liter is when John asked how many liters of blood she thought she had. Ria was quiet for a few moments (as we watched in wonder) and finally said 28. When we asked her what she counted to figure that out, she explained that she counted all her fingers, all her toes, both eyes, her forehead, her head and her nose. Next I asked her what a liter was. She replied, "It's someone who tells you where to go."

Gus was trying to finish off the crust of his Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich in order to earn some sherbet for dessert when he suggested (hopefully) "How about put this on table and put sherbet on plate?"

Gus - My three year old son had two pieces of play money. He gave one to me and kept the other one in his hand. As he handed me the one "bill," he said "This is two." I said, "No sweetie, it's just one." He held up the bill in his hand and said, "No, this is one."

Ria - My five year old daughter was working on memorizing the Ten Commandments. She had memorized the first five (through "Thou shalt not kill.") perfectly. I had prepared myself to explain the sixth to her - "Thou shalt not commit adultery" in a simplified way for a small child by explaining that husbands and wives get married to each other and stay that way until they die - i.e. that they can't get married to someone else... So we started working on the 6th Commandment. I read it to her and she recited it back. Then I asked her if she knew what it meant. To my surprise she answered "yes." She went on to explain, in a very serious voice, that "You're not supposed to yell at adults."

Gus - My three year old son asked for some lined paper without any lines on it.

Ria - My five year old daughter was talking to her daddy about ears (she had recently watched a PBS show about music). She eagerly explained that there are even bones in your ear, like the drumstick.

Ria - My daughter had often heard stories about St. Lucy's Day, particularly from the "American Girl" stories about Kirsten. We talked about making St. Lucy's Day buns for several years before we finally got things together one year when Ria was six or seven. She was very excited about the big day and spent lots of time making a beautiful paper wreath with paper candles. We picked up some saffron at the grocery store and worked busily in the kitchen the night of December 12th. Since I had been a little disorganized about the timing, I had to stay up late finishing the baking but assured her that I would wake her up just before dawn so that she could bring Daddy the buns and some hot apple cider before he got up for work. We even "cheated" on the hot apple cider by picking up some powdered apple cider mix that dissolved into hot water. I finally went sleepily to bed at about midnight having filled a platter with charming pretzel shaped sweet breads with a nice glossy finish. She must have been pretty anxious about catching Daddy while he was still in bed, for we were gently awakened at about three in the morning by a nightgown clad little girl in a paper crown eagerly offering Daddy a St. Lucy's Day bun (with no plate) and a half cup of very lukewarm apple cider.

Gus - I don't know if it is habit or the fact that he doesn't hear the rest of us when he is praying along; but my son still recites the St. Michael prayer pronouncing that Satan and all the other evil spirits are "...crawling about the world..." seeking the ruin of souls.

My husband and I brought five of our kids shopping one Saturday. We stopped briefly at Home Depot where I ran in to get a few things. My husband noticed a safety fair in which the local fire department was offering free hot dogs and promptly piled all the kids out for a free lunch. When I was done shopping, I found them happily munching away and walked over to get a hot dog for myself. The firefighters running the grill correctly guessed that I was the mother of "those five kids" and went on and on about how well behaved they were. I went back to the van and reported our conversation to my husband. My ten year old son (Gus) looked at me funny and said, "All we did was get some hot dogs."

Some of their names for things:

Skinny Pig (Guinea Pig) - Gus
Grummage Sales - Gus
Karmasan Cheese - Gus
Scunscreen - ?
Christopher Robin Hood - Ria
McDonald Duck - Ria

Please share your own favorite kiddie quotes.